Common financial mistakes series, part seven
Mistake #7: Not discussing finances before joining households. Many, many people get married or combine households without first discussing their finances in detail. If you happen to be on the exact same page financially, that isn’t an issue, but the only way to find out where you both stand is to either a) talk about it or b) experience it. And it’s rare to hold exactly the same beliefs regarding money.
If you’re not on the same page, experiencing it usually isn’t pretty. You may be unpleasantly surprised to find that your significant other owes back taxes to the IRS from 3 years ago, that they usually spend $1000 per month on clothing, that they believe a budget of $50 per month for entertainment is absurdly high and wasteful, that they have chargeoffs on their credit report, that they believe their money is theirs alone while you believe in share and share alike, or worse.
Solution: Avoid nasty surprises like these by being open about your finances. Depending on your upbringing, it may feel uncomfortable at first to talk about money, but if you can’t talk about money with the most important person in your life, who can you talk about it with? Take the plunge and set a time for a money talk. Explain that you want to get a feel for the other person’s beliefs about money and share your own. Discuss your general feelings regarding spending, savings, goals, credit, and more. Talk about how money was perceived in your family of origin. If you have debt, share what it’s from, how much, how you feel about it, and how you plan to resolve it (if at all). You might even consider swapping credit reports & scores.
Remember that you’re each opening up your financial souls, so be kind to each other, especially if doing so reveals some things that are less-than-positive. If you find that there are significant differences in basic beliefs that you can’t resolve on your own, especially about spending vs. saving and debt, consider counseling to see if you can come to a common ground.
If you like what you've read, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!
