No is a viable option
Suppose you’re invited to an event out of state, but it’s costly, and you don’t have the money. You’re faced with a decision: do I put it on a credit card, or is there some other way to get the money? You juggle things around to make your budget work, or resign yourself to more debt, vowing to pay it off next month. But then the next month comes, bringing another unusual expense with it. Sometimes we forget that there is a third option entirely: not going to the event. It is ok to say no, I’m sorry, we can’t make it.
This kind of thing can happen on a smaller scale too. Your coworker may ask you to lunch, but you’ve already spent the amount you’d alloted to lunches out for the week. There are choices other than robbing Peter to pay Paul (by taking the money from another budgeted item), or borrowing money. You can say no, or let them know that you’ve already brought your lunch but that you’ll go and just keep them company.
I think sometimes we get so caught up in the idea that certain things are expected that we forget that no is a viable option.
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July 3rd, 2007 at 12:15 pm
You’re absolutely right. I try to say no to going out to expensive places as much as possible. Instead I ask them if they want to go do something free or cheaper. If they don’t then I go on my own and have fun not spending money. :)
July 3rd, 2007 at 2:04 pm
I remember a time I couldn’t afford a trip to visit relatives that came to my state and stayed at my moms. I was newly divorced and could barely get a gallon of milk or a loaf of bread. The gas was needed to get to work. When I told them “no” I was given the cold shoulder for years.
Looking back, I’m glad I didn’t go, they should have understood. But then, when it was happening, I was really hurt by their reaction.
July 3rd, 2007 at 4:03 pm
Wow D, that sucks. Sad that someone would hold a grudge like that. They could have come to visit you instead…
July 5th, 2007 at 2:35 pm
i almost resisted the urge to say no to posting a useless comment like I am.
I like saying No even under the full burden of guilt my mother likes to dish. sometimes it just must be said.