On comparisons
No matter who you are or what shape you’re in financially, chances are that every now and then you may find yourself comparing what you have with what other people have or seem to have.
I find myself doing this at times, usually when I’ve spent time looking at model homes or driving through brand-new neighborhoods. It usually hits me when I get close to home afterward, and notice just how much older our neighborhood is in comparison.
We don’t live in an especially old neighborhood — most of the houses were built in the late 70s — but compared to the constant brand-new construction in our metro area, it’s older.
Sometimes I wonder what other people think of where we live. But then I remind myself that it doesn’t really matter what other people think.
What matters is how we feel and think about it.
Which usually turns out well in our case, because we enjoy our house and the things we have and don’t have.
It’s just useful to pay attention to what might be causing the comparisons — to what’s behind them.
Especially before going out and spending money or making financial decisions that are really just based on a comparison.
July 16th, 2009 at 11:21 am
Studies have shown that happiness is indeed dependent on our perception of ourselves relative to others. That is why keeping up with the Joneses is quite normal behavior. Say, you make 100,000 and most of your friends make 200,000. You would most likely not feel so good about your successes. If you make 100,000 and most of your friends make 50,000, you would be quite proud of and happy about yourself. In both cases you make 100,000, but we can all see that the second case feels just a bit better than the first one, right?
July 16th, 2009 at 11:23 am
I’ve seen studies like that too, but while keeping up with the Joneses (or wanting to keep up with them) is normal behavior, I’d rather change who I view as the Joneses.
July 16th, 2009 at 7:47 pm
That’s an interesting outlook. I find myself getting worried about people comparing themselves with me all the time.
July 17th, 2009 at 8:10 pm
I live in a not so great neighborhood but I think it’s great financially. There’s less pressure to keep up with the Joneses. I actually prefer older neighborhoods to brand shiny new ones. They have more character. I’m mostly guilty of comparing bank balances, it’s hard not to in the pf world.