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In honor of the money I’ve spent this month (already!) I’d like to know what your favorite way to spend money is.

Of course I like to do a lot of things that are free (reading, writing, lazing around the house) but there are some things that I definitely get my money’s worth on. For me those things are travel, travel, and travel. Did I mention travel?

And I guess I’ll have to add eating out, because I enjoy doing that as well.

What about you?

Don’t forget to check out a few links, too:

Budgets are Sexy still messes up sometimes. (And don’t we all…)

A car-and-debt-related deadline approaches for Hundred Goals.

Green Panda Treehouse hosts a guest post from My Next Buck called What Comic Book Characters Taught Me About Personal Finance. (Love the Wonder Woman message.)

NCN has some thoughts about thinking.

Money Smarts tells how to actually finish DIY home improvement projects.

For the past couple of years, I’ve answered the question of “how much should I save for retirement?” with “as much as I possibly can”.

But that’s not really a very good answer, although it’s certainly better than what I was doing before. (Nothing.) A better thing to do might be to take an educated guess at how much I might actually need in retirement.

So, I’ll start with the obvious. What do I expect our expenses to be then? At a minimum I imagine they will include health care, long term care insurance, food, water, electricity, property taxes and insurance, household repairs and maintenance. I’d also like to be able to afford internet, telephone, gifts, transportation, travel and entertainment.

Basically the same things we are doing now, with the addition of (most likely) increased health care costs and long term care insurance, and the subtraction of a house payment.

That’s depressing at first glance, because in order for us to maintain the same or better lifestyle, we’ll need at least the same amount of income as we have now (without accounting for inflation.) On the other hand, we won’t be contributing to retirement once we are retired, so that frees up quite a bit of money.

My guess is that we might need 60-70% of what we make now in retirement in order to live our current lifestyle — and less if we get desperate. (Which is a good thing, because right now it’s looking like we’ll only be able to afford a bare-bones retirement.)

Looks like I’ll be continuing with the “save as much as I possibly can” method.

I’m not big on picking favorites, but there is one place that I consider my very favorite store.

It’s right down the street, so I stop in pretty much every week to browse. I usually take home anywhere from one to six things at a time, depending on what I was looking for and what just happened to catch my eye. Sometimes I check out their online store too, just to see if they have what I want before I stop in.

If I need help finding something, their helpful staff will take me right to where it is, and suggest ideas I hadn’t even thought of. Even better, if they don’t have what I was looking for, they’ll special order it for me from anywhere in the country and set it aside. They call me when it’s in, or email me if I prefer that.

They have special events, and even snacks if I feel like getting those. They let me use their technology, hang out, meet people, and they have rotating art displays that I love to check out.

Best of all, every thing there (except the snacks) is completely free.

Have you figured out yet that I’m talking about the library? Books, DVDs, CDs, downloadable audiobooks, maps, references guides, computers, meeting rooms, art displays, tickets to local attractions, information on city services. All free.

Seriously, it’s my favorite store. I especially love the interlibrary loan, and being able to reserve brand-new books that haven’t even come out yet. As soon as they get them in, they’re mine to use. It’s great.

There’s a huge difference in how it feels to know that you can’t afford to splurge on syrup this month, and realizing that you’re fine if you might have to pay an unexpected $2,000 expense. (Annoyed and kind of irked, but fine.)

Sometimes it’s even worse — not only is the syrup unaffordable, but the bills are piling up, and an unexpected expenses of any size is a nightmare that makes you break down and cry. I’ve been both places, and one is definitely more peaceful than the other.

So how do you go from being behind to getting ahead? It takes time in many cases. It took a LOT of time in mine, but I got here.

The first step, for me at least, was to have a moment of clarity. I knew that I did not want to live that way any longer. I was tired of the constant setbacks, the tears, and the frustration. Tired of hoping my mom was paying for the movie when she invited me out, because I didn’t want to admit that I didn’t have the money. Tired of a lot of things.

But I needed to admit that things needed to change to myself. Really admit it, deep down, not just admit it in an “oh we don’t have any money” or in an “ugh we can’t afford it but what difference will one more thing make” kind of way. I needed to tell myself that nothing was going to change unless I did. Then I had to feel motivated about making that change happen, even if it took quite a bit of time and involved sacrifices along the way.

You have to have that enough moment — that critical moment of change — or it’ll be like trying to walk up an icy hill in a gale with grease on your feet.

Once I got my emotions and commitment in line with my real desires, things started happening. I understood that there would be challenges, but that challenges were just a way of testing my determination and finding out who I really was. Sometimes I would be tested hard, and often, but I had to keep going. I had to want it more than I wanted anything. I made it the priority, and eventually I scrambled out of desperation and frustration and got on the route to getting ahead.