Talking about money may be taboo…
but singing about it sure isn’t.
Maybe it was just a fluke, but it sounded like the radio was playing the “all money” channel the other day. There was Madonna singing about being a material girl, Dire Straits wishing for money for nothin’, Nickelback wanting that limitless credit card, etc. It seems like money is as much a part of the song culture as singing about love.
Why is it so easy to sing about a topic that affects every single one of us, but so hard to have a meaningful discussion about it with people you know? People seem to be more willing to talk about debt, or other things that they’ve done with their money that they wish they hadn’t, than talking about making money or being successful with it. Is it a fear of showing off? A fear that if we state that we are successful, that someone will come along and take it from us? Or something else?
How many people in real life do you talk about investments or earning money with?
November 28th, 2007 at 1:21 pm
I don’t talk about actual dollar amounts with many people. I don’t have a problem talking about money in general, saving money, building wealth or rental property investments that I have made, but to say I made $XX,000 off that house in 2 years or I make $XX,000 per year at work is something that I am not comfortable with.
I’m sure there are many reasons I don’t wish to talk details (first to come to mind is that is how my parents were when I was growing up), but the main one I go back to is… I don’t want to make my brothers feel bad. They are older than me, and have made different choices in life, and probably don’t have the discretionary income I have. They may be happy for me if they knew how much I made, but I would hate for it to kindle an animosity towards me, because of the money I make or where I decide to spend (or save) that money.
November 28th, 2007 at 8:52 pm
I don’t really have any problem discussing money and investing with anyone who wants to know. I don’t generally volunteer specific dollar amounts but if someone asks I don’t mind telling them.
I think it allows someone to realize that one can be successful. Why do we flock to blogs of people who we know actually make a lot of money online, or pay more attention to what Warren Buffett has to say. We would rather learn from someone who actually is successful and doesn’t just talk about it. Others will feel us out in the same way when they talk to us about money.
November 29th, 2007 at 7:01 am
I tend not to talk about making money with too many people because I know they get touchy about it. There are a handful of people that I will talk about my investments and opportunities with. I value the insight and advice they give and it helps me evaluate what I am trying to accomplish. It’s unfortunate that money is such a taboo topic.
November 29th, 2007 at 9:51 am
I think there is a general fear among most people that talking about money will make them look bad, ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, so talking about money becomes a no-win proposition.
For example, you can appear to be at fault for overspending, mismanaging your money, not investing wisely, laziness, lack of diligence (in investing OR earning) – or, if you are not at fault in any of these areas, you can appear to be showing up everyone else who IS somehow at fault.
Since it’s unlikely you can get through such a discussion unscathed, why bother?
November 29th, 2007 at 12:53 pm
I’ve been struggling with this more lately. I do worry that people will think I am “showing off” or that I should give it all away. This is why I don’t share the story of my wealth with many people in my life (except anonymously through my blog). But even worse, a few unhappy people react harshly negative towards me, as if they would like to try to make me feel as miserable as they do. You know the saying, misery likes company.
On the other hand, I feel excited about how much easier it was to achieve financial freedom than I anticipated. And I’d love to share this great news with as many people as I can. Education is the key, I think, and I am passionate about education.
I have noticed that people seem fine about discussing debt and struggle, but hesitate to discuss financial successes. Why do you think this is so?
November 29th, 2007 at 10:11 pm
I think there are plenty of people talking about money and they’re in the locker room at the country club or having cocktails with their pals on their yacht. People talk about money with people who also have the same kind of money. I was taught that it was uncouth to talk about money in specifics. But, if I have a friend who wants to discuss their annuity or how their mutual funds are performing that’s fine. And, if this leads to specifics, I try to stay under the radar. It’s my business what money I have.
Jerry
November 30th, 2007 at 8:10 am
I read somewhere that women in particular make attempts to avoid pointing out differences in wages and will try to avoid the topic. But is that healthy if you’re, say, undercharging for you services because you don’t know what others are charging? I’ve actually been working to discuss money more. One way to get the conversation going with people outside your immediate circle is to use a site called Geezeo (http://www.geezeo.com). Now, I work for the site. But I used it before I started working there. Bring on the discussions!