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There’s a huge difference in how it feels to know that you can’t afford to splurge on syrup this month, and realizing that you’re fine if you might have to pay an unexpected $2,000 expense. (Annoyed and kind of irked, but fine.)

Sometimes it’s even worse — not only is the syrup unaffordable, but the bills are piling up, and an unexpected expenses of any size is a nightmare that makes you break down and cry. I’ve been both places, and one is definitely more peaceful than the other.

So how do you go from being behind to getting ahead? It takes time in many cases. It took a LOT of time in mine, but I got here.

The first step, for me at least, was to have a moment of clarity. I knew that I did not want to live that way any longer. I was tired of the constant setbacks, the tears, and the frustration. Tired of hoping my mom was paying for the movie when she invited me out, because I didn’t want to admit that I didn’t have the money. Tired of a lot of things.

But I needed to admit that things needed to change to myself. Really admit it, deep down, not just admit it in an “oh we don’t have any money” or in an “ugh we can’t afford it but what difference will one more thing make” kind of way. I needed to tell myself that nothing was going to change unless I did. Then I had to feel motivated about making that change happen, even if it took quite a bit of time and involved sacrifices along the way.

You have to have that enough moment — that critical moment of change — or it’ll be like trying to walk up an icy hill in a gale with grease on your feet.

Once I got my emotions and commitment in line with my real desires, things started happening. I understood that there would be challenges, but that challenges were just a way of testing my determination and finding out who I really was. Sometimes I would be tested hard, and often, but I had to keep going. I had to want it more than I wanted anything. I made it the priority, and eventually I scrambled out of desperation and frustration and got on the route to getting ahead.

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