Comments on: The fear of looking poor http://www.bluntmoney.com/the-fear-of-looking-poor/ Sat, 05 Jul 2008 19:55:09 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.3.2 By: bluntmoney http://www.bluntmoney.com/the-fear-of-looking-poor/#comment-23831 bluntmoney Tue, 04 Dec 2007 20:09:04 +0000 http://www.bluntmoney.com/the-fear-of-looking-poor/#comment-23831 Cavemanus, no, those things you mentioned aren't things that I feel or believe about others. (I'll write more about this in a later post though.) I think that people who use coupons are wise, and I use them myself whenever they apply to something that I intended to buy anyway. I assume that people usually order water because they like it (or maybe because they dislike the other alternatives.) They are comments that I've heard other people make, though. The thought about the potluck was a recent thought. The point was that spending time wondering what people might think of me as I sign up for a single item (when almost everyone else has chosen to bring multiple items) could have ended up with me spending more money than I felt comfortable with, out of fear. Cavemanus, no, those things you mentioned aren’t things that I feel or believe about others. (I’ll write more about this in a later post though.) I think that people who use coupons are wise, and I use them myself whenever they apply to something that I intended to buy anyway. I assume that people usually order water because they like it (or maybe because they dislike the other alternatives.) They are comments that I’ve heard other people make, though. The thought about the potluck was a recent thought. The point was that spending time wondering what people might think of me as I sign up for a single item (when almost everyone else has chosen to bring multiple items) could have ended up with me spending more money than I felt comfortable with, out of fear.

]]> By: Cavemanus http://www.bluntmoney.com/the-fear-of-looking-poor/#comment-23784 Cavemanus Tue, 04 Dec 2007 05:27:52 +0000 http://www.bluntmoney.com/the-fear-of-looking-poor/#comment-23784 blunt, with all due respect, I get the impression that many of the things you expressed are things that you feel, subconsciously, or otherwise towards others. Do you personally think people who use coupons cannot make ends meet? That people order water because they cannot afford a drink? These thoughts would not have occurred to me. But, these are the kinds of things that you think about, or they would not occur to you either. I would suggest that for some reason, you look at saving as a negative choice. As if one should aspire to waste money. I would submit that saving is a lifestyle choice for anyone, of any means, who aspires to gain and maintain wealth. Most people who become rich got there not by waste, but by saving. I do not mean this as an insult, but as an attempt to offer a stranger something to consider. Honestly, you should never be embarrassed about saving money. Never. Saving is a way of life and it will bring you closer to your financial goals. I am actually very proud of my ability to save. My wife and I really started saving seriously three years ago. It turned out to be quite contagious to all aspects of our life. We use coupons when we shop and always pick the store, which after comparison, offers the greatest savings. My wife often triumphantly announces how much we saved. It has become a game where we always try to beat our high score (our biggest savings). I used to have a beverage every night on the train, but now, I cannot bring myself to spend the money. I bring lunch everyday and I am disappointed if I occasionally forget the food at home. I just can no longer see spending money on having a stranger prepare my food. Additionally, we have cancelled almost all of our web, magazine and mail subscriptions (does anyone need magazines?). We use transit checks and take advantage of other pre-tax options. Surprises still happen where money is needed. We just had an unexpected roof emergency. We compared multiple estimates and then went with the best deal for our money. We did not do a patch job either, we had them replace it. Maybe we spent a little more today, but it will save us money over the long term. We have not given anything up. We still live well, travel, go out and enjoy other indulgences, but we do it smartly with planning. The changes we made in spending felt obvious. Why were we wasting money? Because we had not learned what an amazing feeling it was to save money. We were gaining and it felt refreshing. Whether you are rich, poor, or somewhere in between, the feeling one gets from saving money is exactly the same. It feels great! So how did we do it? Simple. We tracked our expenses in a budget. Just by seeing how we spent money, it became obvious where we could save. For example, our dining out expenses are down 17% so far this year and our grocery bill is down 14% this year to date. I offer the Excel budget template file we created on my blog so anyone can track their own data: http://cavemanus.blogspot.com/2007/09/cave-budget-spreadsheet.html Good luck bluntmoney, it sounds like you have been through a lot and I wish you the best. blunt, with all due respect, I get the impression that many of the things you expressed are things that you feel, subconsciously, or otherwise towards others. Do you personally think people who use coupons cannot make ends meet? That people order water because they cannot afford a drink? These thoughts would not have occurred to me. But, these are the kinds of things that you think about, or they would not occur to you either.

I would suggest that for some reason, you look at saving as a negative choice. As if one should aspire to waste money. I would submit that saving is a lifestyle choice for anyone, of any means, who aspires to gain and maintain wealth. Most people who become rich got there not by waste, but by saving.

I do not mean this as an insult, but as an attempt to offer a stranger something to consider.

Honestly, you should never be embarrassed about saving money. Never. Saving is a way of life and it will bring you closer to your financial goals. I am actually very proud of my ability to save.

My wife and I really started saving seriously three years ago. It turned out to be quite contagious to all aspects of our life.

We use coupons when we shop and always pick the store, which after comparison, offers the greatest savings. My wife often triumphantly announces how much we saved. It has become a game where we always try to beat our high score (our biggest savings).

I used to have a beverage every night on the train, but now, I cannot bring myself to spend the money. I bring lunch everyday and I am disappointed if I occasionally forget the food at home. I just can no longer see spending money on having a stranger prepare my food. Additionally, we have cancelled almost all of our web, magazine and mail subscriptions (does anyone need magazines?). We use transit checks and take advantage of other pre-tax options.

Surprises still happen where money is needed. We just had an unexpected roof emergency. We compared multiple estimates and then went with the best deal for our money. We did not do a patch job either, we had them replace it. Maybe we spent a little more today, but it will save us money over the long term.

We have not given anything up. We still live well, travel, go out and enjoy other indulgences, but we do it smartly with planning.

The changes we made in spending felt obvious. Why were we wasting money? Because we had not learned what an amazing feeling it was to save money. We were gaining and it felt refreshing. Whether you are rich, poor, or somewhere in between, the feeling one gets from saving money is exactly the same. It feels great!

So how did we do it? Simple. We tracked our expenses in a budget. Just by seeing how we spent money, it became obvious where we could save. For example, our dining out expenses are down 17% so far this year and our grocery bill is down 14% this year to date.

I offer the Excel budget template file we created on my blog so anyone can track their own data:
http://cavemanus.blogspot.com/2007/09/cave-budget-spreadsheet.html

Good luck bluntmoney, it sounds like you have been through a lot and I wish you the best.

]]> By: Jade http://www.bluntmoney.com/the-fear-of-looking-poor/#comment-23577 Jade Fri, 30 Nov 2007 18:42:27 +0000 http://www.bluntmoney.com/the-fear-of-looking-poor/#comment-23577 All these joneses references make me have to tell you all that my high school quote was "Forget the Joneses." It wasn't a popular quote! But it sums up my feelings about life. Interesting topic. While I can afford to dress nicely, I prefer to wear second-hand clothes. If I'm at home working, I wear really worn out and outdated clothes, because I know I'm going to spill paint on them or get dirt ground into them, etc. I am pretty confident that people judge based upon clothing. I've gotten used to mostly being ignored, but when I do occassionally step out dressed to the nines I get a completely different reaction from people. I think its really weird actually, because people judge you based on such superficial things. I actually prefer to look poor. It just feels more comfortable to me to be ignored. I also think it keeps away the type of people who would take advantage of you. In fact, someone that I used to have a lot of respect for once laughed at the concept of "live simply so that others simply may live" and I realized they weren't the kind of friend I thought they were. All these joneses references make me have to tell you all that my high school quote was “Forget the Joneses.” It wasn’t a popular quote! But it sums up my feelings about life.

Interesting topic.

While I can afford to dress nicely, I prefer to wear second-hand clothes. If I’m at home working, I wear really worn out and outdated clothes, because I know I’m going to spill paint on them or get dirt ground into them, etc. I am pretty confident that people judge based upon clothing. I’ve gotten used to mostly being ignored, but when I do occassionally step out dressed to the nines I get a completely different reaction from people. I think its really weird actually, because people judge you based on such superficial things.

I actually prefer to look poor. It just feels more comfortable to me to be ignored. I also think it keeps away the type of people who would take advantage of you.

In fact, someone that I used to have a lot of respect for once laughed at the concept of “live simply so that others simply may live” and I realized they weren’t the kind of friend I thought they were.

]]> By: Steven http://www.bluntmoney.com/the-fear-of-looking-poor/#comment-23565 Steven Fri, 30 Nov 2007 14:17:51 +0000 http://www.bluntmoney.com/the-fear-of-looking-poor/#comment-23565 Don't try to keep up with the Joneses; bring the Joneses down to you! Don’t try to keep up with the Joneses; bring the Joneses down to you!

]]> By: Pioneer http://www.bluntmoney.com/the-fear-of-looking-poor/#comment-23510 Pioneer Thu, 29 Nov 2007 19:45:43 +0000 http://www.bluntmoney.com/the-fear-of-looking-poor/#comment-23510 I used to worry about it when I was younger and less educated in the ways of frugality. Now I am not worried about it. I like to make a game out of situations to at least make it fun. I buy most of my clothes and the family clothes at GoodWill, Salvation Army and garage sales. We do not look ratty or poor. We do have a very rusty van that we have had for 15 years that looks absolutely awful...but it runs and it was free ! My husband and I like to pretend we are rich and still keep it just to put other people off ! I will admit that I do not feel great about my carpeting because it is old and needs replacing. It just cannot be done right now. I figure if my friends judge me based on that...they aren't really my friends ! I used to worry about it when I was younger and less educated in the ways of frugality. Now I am not worried about it. I like to make a game out of situations to at least make it fun. I buy most of my clothes and the family clothes at GoodWill, Salvation Army and garage sales. We do not look ratty or poor. We do have a very rusty van that we have had for 15 years that looks absolutely awful…but it runs and it was free ! My husband and I like to pretend we are rich and still keep it just to put other people off ! I will admit that I do not feel great about my carpeting because it is old and needs replacing. It just cannot be done right now. I figure if my friends judge me based on that…they aren’t really my friends !

]]> By: TosaJen http://www.bluntmoney.com/the-fear-of-looking-poor/#comment-23411 TosaJen Wed, 28 Nov 2007 17:11:55 +0000 http://www.bluntmoney.com/the-fear-of-looking-poor/#comment-23411 I'm sure there are costs for being perceived as poor or cheap. But they seem to be pretty much the same costs as being perceived as not joining the herd. If you want to live in a counter-culture way (which frugality is, right now), you have to be prepared to be a bit of an outsider. On the other hand, by living according to your values, it's easier to find and spend time with others who share your values, so you'll find new people to be an "insider" with. I agree with your point about being more worried about "looking poor" when I was indeed broke and in debt. Now that we have some assets, we find a lot of value in "looking poor". We park our 12-yo sedan in a sea of new SUVs -- who worried about it being stolen? It gets dinged -- oh well! We live in a modest home with hand-me-down furnishings, used bicycles, and (mostly) older electronics. We share hand-me-down clothes with the neighbors and wear casual high-quality clothes for years -- rock on! We're not "keeping up with the Joneses" -- we ARE our own Joneses. I’m sure there are costs for being perceived as poor or cheap. But they seem to be pretty much the same costs as being perceived as not joining the herd. If you want to live in a counter-culture way (which frugality is, right now), you have to be prepared to be a bit of an outsider. On the other hand, by living according to your values, it’s easier to find and spend time with others who share your values, so you’ll find new people to be an “insider” with.

I agree with your point about being more worried about “looking poor” when I was indeed broke and in debt. Now that we have some assets, we find a lot of value in “looking poor”. We park our 12-yo sedan in a sea of new SUVs — who worried about it being stolen? It gets dinged — oh well! We live in a modest home with hand-me-down furnishings, used bicycles, and (mostly) older electronics. We share hand-me-down clothes with the neighbors and wear casual high-quality clothes for years — rock on! We’re not “keeping up with the Joneses” — we ARE our own Joneses.

]]> By: rstlne http://www.bluntmoney.com/the-fear-of-looking-poor/#comment-23410 rstlne Wed, 28 Nov 2007 16:40:52 +0000 http://www.bluntmoney.com/the-fear-of-looking-poor/#comment-23410 Fortunately, I have friends who are not averse to saving money. (Well, most of them anyway.) If we have coupons we use them and share them. The best time ever was when we went in a big group for dinner at a restaurant and one person brought a stack of coupons preprinted from the restaurant's website for the whole group to use. Fortunately, I have friends who are not averse to saving money. (Well, most of them anyway.) If we have coupons we use them and share them. The best time ever was when we went in a big group for dinner at a restaurant and one person brought a stack of coupons preprinted from the restaurant’s website for the whole group to use.

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