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Have you ever said that to yourself, when debating about making a purchase or going out shopping? It’s a line that’s often used to rationalize spending money on something, usually either money that you don’t really have, or money that’s earmarked for something else.

My argument is that yes, you do deserve whatever it is if it’s something that you really want — we all deserve good things in life — but more importantly, you don’t deserve to treat yourself badly. And that’s exactly what you’re doing if you spend money that you don’t have or that you need for something else.

I’ve found it helpful to ask instead, “Do I deserve to be stressed out and worried about money? Do I deserve to pay 14% more for this, every month for the next 2 years? Does my kid deserve to follow me in a cycle of debt because they see me carrying a balance on credit cards? Do I deserve to not have the money for what I really want (financial security, to be debt-free, a worry-free vacation next summer, etc) because I bought this thing that I won’t remember in 3 months?”

Questions like those help to separate out attempts to make yourself feel better that are only going to make you feel worse in the long run, from the things that will bring you lasting happiness.

Go ahead and get what you really deserve instead.