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Reducing your debt and living within your means is a good thing, but what happens if not everyone in your life is supportive? Or even worse, what happens if people try to sabotage your choices? Dealing with these types of situations can be stressful.

I think it helps to take things on a case-by-case basis. Maybe you drive a beater, or like to use coupons when you’re dining out. If your friends or family are making comments about your choice to do these kinds of things, try listening to what they might really be saying instead of their actual words. “When are you ever going to buy a new car?” might really mean “I’m worried about you, but I don’t know how to show it.” Or, maybe it really means “I spend a lot of my time worrying about what other people think of me and my money goes toward keeping up appearances”. It could be any number of things — but it may help to mentally translate their words into something else. That way, instead of feeling defensive, hurt, sad, or pressured, you can turn their words into something positive.

Remember that not every question requires an answer. Instead of answering questions that you feel uncomfortable about, you can say that you don’t want to discuss it. When said with a very nice tone of voice, responses like “because I want to”, “this is how I choose to handle my money”, or “why are you asking?” work well too. If it turns out that they’re asking because they’d like to know more about personal finance, you could offer to show them why you’re so excited about doing the things you’re doing. Maybe recommend they check out a book like The Millionaire Next Door (affiliate link) from the library.

Finally, remember that in many ways debt reduction and living within your means are just like any other goal. Succeeding at goals usually means seeking out like-minded people that can offer support. Reading personal finance blogs, joining finance-related meetup groups, or even just journaling to track your own progress and success will all help.

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